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The beginning of the path is renunciation. This is the first and possibly the hardest thing to do on the whole path. For if we can really renounce, then we are moving forward. And this forward movement impels us toward the divine. After the first step, then subsequent steps are easier. But if we cannot take that initial step, then nothing happens. We stand still and do not move. Like a statue, we have the appearance of life but are lifeless. All the doors to the divine World remain closed. Many people have told me, when I was teaching, about how wonderful I was, how great the things I said were, and how interested they were in it all. So I expected them to begin on the path, and begin to renounce their attachments, and seek out the divine and the True. I expected at least a little effort. But what did they do? They continued to enjoy listening to my words but made not one move towards renunciation. They did not apply what they heard. Or they really did not even listen to the words about renunciation. They did not really want to take the first step. And of course, from the human standpoint, who really wants to renounce things? We love our family, we love our friends, we love our house, our belongings, our society, our ideals, and so forth. We have lived all our lives accumulating, for that accumulation tells us that we exist, that we are alive, and usually that we are valuable and loved. If, then, we let go of our loved ones, then who is there to love us? If we let go of our possessions, then what is there that we own? If we let go of our ideals, our writings, and our cherished teachings, then what defines what we are? We feel like we are lost in an abyss of nothingness. We feel afraid for our own existence. We feel like we are on the edge of a cliff with no guardrails, and teeter on a dizzy height in terror of a long fall into darkness. And so people begin to defend ourselves. They say: "Oh, surely I love my family; there is nothing wrong with love." Or: "Surely this particular teaching is true — there is no need to let it go." Or: "I put decades of my life into study of these teachings; I cannot let them go." Or: "I am important in this group / society / school / organization and I must continue with that work." People cling to what defines their existence. They cling to what proves that they are valuable and important. They cling to other people's love. Thus they erect guardrails against their fall into the depths. They make sure that any renunciation they do does not touch anything significant. Moreover, people pretend that they are already renunciate. One woman claimed to have renounced all and then told me of how she lived for her pet dog. Another claimed to be renunciate and then told me how she was sad all the time and was always searching for happiness. Another man claimed to be free of the world and then told me how he longed for love and attention. Thus some people imagine that they have renounced but cannot see that they have not let go of anything at all. Their renunciation is purely mental and never put into practical effect. But just because they think about renunciation does not mean that any renouncing has occurred. I always naëvely imagine that people who say that they are sincerely interested in finding God and Truth will take at least one or two steps forward in that direction. That they will not let fear hold them back. That their desire for Truth will allow them to overcome the obstacles of the path — if not immediately then later. Usually I am disappointed, for people imagine that they do not need to renounce anything to find God. They imagine that they can keep living the same life that they have always lived, keep the same desires that they have always felt, and think the same thoughts that they have always held, and still find God. For of course, since these things are their cherished actions, feelings and ideals, they feel that they must of necessity be eternal Truth. But renunciation is not something that is done half-heartedly. It is not something that can be put off. It is necessary to take that terrible dive into the emptiness and the invisible. Likewise, people believe that their family relationships are ordained by God, and that their personal desires have special dispensation. Or they believe that their desires must always be gratified. Again, if we are enjoying life in this universe of falsehood, how can we expect to move toward a Universe of Truth? If we are having fun here, what is the motive to renounce and let go? Most people may complain about the world but take it for granted that this is where they want to be. They do not expect anything more in life, nor really seek anything more. But those who are ready to live in Christ have tasted life in this world, and have found it to be unmitigated suffering. They therefore eagerly renounce this world, for they trust that a new life awaits them. Renunciation is really stopping. We stop buying into the falsehoods of life. We stop pretending that people, places, holidays, countries, teachings, and rituals have meaning to us when they don't. We stop responding to the whirlwind of advertisements, propaganda statements, news reports, and teachings that try to suck us in and make us their slaves. We stop pretending that human relationships, personal success, national patriotism, government law, and religious edicts have meaning for us. We stop holding on to society's values and live, as much as possible, as though we already existed in the New Eden that is prophesied to appear on our planet. When we take upon ourselves the task of living according to divine Law and the guidance of the Spirit within, then all things in the world become relative and secondary. We are no longer guided by the world in how to act and think, but by our inner Light. Holding to that Light, in Trust and Faith, we let go of this world and let God work in our lives. |
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